Spongebob??

One of my customers took down their very nice, CONVENIENTLY large mailbox and replaced it with one that looks like a big catfish with an even bigger fish hook in its mouth (said hook also serves as the door handle.) When I pulled on the hook, the whole catfish head bent forward to open and reveal the box inside the belly of the fish. EEWWWW!
In that moment, the theme song from Spongebob Squarepants popped into my head. (I know, but that's how my mind works.) Sooo, being sorta bored I made up new lyrics to Spongebob's tune. Here goes:
Oooohhhh...who delivers the mail to him under the sea?
Spongebob's Mailman!
Who knocks on his door with Express Delivery?
Spongebob's Mailman!
If a creepy mailbox be something you wish
Then run down to Lowe's and catch a big fish!
Spongebob's Mailman, Spongebob's Mailman,
Spongebob's Mail---Man!!

Dusty, the wonder dog

This is Dusty Husovsky, the wonder dog. He loved to come to work with John at the Post Office. After a hard morning of sorting mail, he enjoyed a tasty Little Debbie's chocolate something or other, a big sloppy slurp of water, and then a short jaunt around the outside of the Post Office-- where he would drain his radiator. Back inside, he would woof-woof incessantly until you gave him your LAST Little Debbie's. After another sloppy slurp he would say thank you by rubbing his slobber all over your pants leg.

Dusty died the other day. It sure is quiet at the Post Office. I miss you, Dusty.

And behind this door...

Some of the more unusual things I have found in mailboxes: 1. A bird 2. A bird nest 3. A bird nest with eggs 4. A bird nest with baby birds 5. A gazillion wasps 6. A bazillion wasp nests 7. A katrillion spiders

8. A trazillion fire ants 9. A coiled copperhead snake - dead, but still scared hell out of me! 10. A dead rabbit 11. A crow's wing - minus the crow 12. An envelope with a zip-lock bag inside. The bag contained, unbeknownst to me, a sample of pond water. This was on a very hot day. Can you guess what happened when I picked up the envelope? Yes, the bag burst. Hot, stinky liquid got all over me. It smelled like stagnant stump water and horse pee. And this was just after the anthrax mailings! I was not a happy mail carrier. Stay tuned. I have a feeling this list will grow.

Snips and snails and puppy dog...EEWWWW!!

Occasionally, on my days off, I relent and clean out my office on wheels. This is an arduous, back-breaking, boring task. I hate it. But when it gets to the point that you can't read my spare tire cover, "U.S.Mail - Frequent Stops" I start scrubbing. Man, it was clean and shiny. Inside and out. Windshield - inside and out. Floor mats, seats, steering wheel, everything -- CLEAN. Only took me about 3 hours.

Next day, at work, at a chronically full box, I do my good deed of the day. I pull out all the mail, bundle it up, and take it to the customer's designated full box overflow area. As I get out of the Jeep, I greet the new puppyhounds who are so glad to see me. I put the mail in a secure area and get back into my CLEAN Jeep, turn around and get back to the road.

What's that?? What's that??? Something stinks!! OMG!! Fresh dog doo-doo!! On one shoe, NO, on both shoes! On my CLEAN floor mat!! On the stinkin' gas pedal and the stinkin' brake!!!
AARRRGGGHHHH!!!

I used a whole canister of Wet Ones and a lot of ugly words.

Grins and giggles

For the uninformed, when a co-worker breaks the silence with an inappropriate giggle... well, silence isn't the only thing they break. Lord, save me from crop-dusting mail carriers!