Sunday, June 14, 2009

Oh, spit!!

Some things just really, REALLY bother me. Take for instance, spit. Nasty, right? So, why, WHY!!! do people run out to their mailbox, an open letter to be mailed in hand, vigorously licking it to seal it, and then thrust it at me??? OMG!! I wish I'd put on rubber gloves before leaving the office. "Here," they say, "caught you just in time!" I can feel my face drawing into a bizarre mask as I try (not very hard) to hide my DISTASTE. I reach for the envelope, my fingernails pinching a tiny corner. "Yes, you timed it just right," I say as I fling the NASTY, WET object into a back tray. "Here's your mail. Bye." I flee to the next box, stop, and dig out my trusty ANTI-BACTERIAL hand wipes. After several minutes, several wipes, and several under-the-breath NASTY words, I pull out my bottle of Germ-X Hand Sanitizer and use up half of it. Sheesh!

NOW! Let me discuss the subject of lipstick. Specifically, lipstick kisses on perfumed envelopes. Usually going to someone in jail. huh. Again, germs. Nastiness. Puckers and Perfume. I said Puckers.

These things are not mentioned in Rural Carrier Academy.